Mr. Andrey Sergey

Letter from Scammer

Dear Friend,

I am Mr. Andrey Sergey a close associate to Mikhail Khodorkovsky who was once the richest man in Russia untill he was jailed and his business crumbled by the present Russia Government. I have an amount in the tune of US$8.5M, which I seek your partnership in accommodating for me. You will be rewarded with 5% of the total sum for your partnership.

As a close associate to him, i was handed the mandate to transfer the said funds from Russia to an European private bank immediately after he started having problems with the Russia Government. Already the funds have left the shore of Russia to a European private bank where the final crediting is expected to be carried out. While I was on the process, He got arrested for his involvement in politics by financing the leading and opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, a liberal/social democratic party) which poses treat to President Vladimir Putin.Please view this website for more details. http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Mikhail-Khodorkovsky

All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the above quoted sum. The transaction has to be concluded before Mikhail Khodorkovsky is out from jail. As soon as I confirm your readiness to conclude the transaction with me, I will provide you with the details.

Can you be my partner on this? In the event you are not interested, I sincerely ask that you disregard this email. Please note that you should keep this strictly confidential.

Thank you very much
Regards
Andrey Sergey

My Response

Dear Andrey,

This opportunity sounds absolutely perfect for me! I have been hoping for something like this to come along for quite some time. You see, recently I had an accident where my arm was bitten off by an alligator

(http://www.underwatertimes.com/news.php?article_id=31975010428). It didn't hurt as much as you would expect, but it was no picnic either! I now find doing basic things difficult, such as:

1. Typing. This email alone has taken me 14 hours to type.

2. Wiping my ass. I have a rather large ass, so I used to pull my cheeks apart with my left and right hands, and use my third hand to wipe with. But now that my third hand is gone, I've always got a mess in my pants.

3. Masterbation. You know, yanking the noodle, tugging the tool, pulling the pipe, whipping the wang, spanking the ham, chokin' the chicken...oh, I could go on and on, if it weren't for the time it takes typing.

Anyway, I digress. I used to yank with my left, twiddle my tendervittles with my right, and poke a digit in my dark passage with my middle. Now that I have no middle, I have a dirty wrinkle hole (see 2) and no ability to poke at it. It makes 'feeding the chickens' a complete waste of time for me.

So, as you can see the use of $8.5 million would be amazing for me! Oh, wait, it's only 5% of $8.5M??? Nevermind then...I'd rather keep my poo-painted puckered passage than get only 5%.

Sorry I won't be able to lend you a hand...erm...

-Chang Po-Yu

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