Alex Ikpeba/Scott Anderson

Letter from Scammer

ATTN: BENEFICIARY,

Following the inefficiencies and inconsistencies of the Central bank Nigeria[CBN] in matters relating to the release of approved contract and inherance funds, the Federal Government of Nigeria has resolved to settle your outstanding funds in cash.
Consequently, you are required to contact Mr. Scott Anderson. He is the Director of OPeration of of Brinks Global Financial Services, New York, USA. His Email address is scottanders60@yahoo.com

Mr. Scott Anderson has been given the responsibility of ensuring a smooth and succesful delivery of your consignment to your designated address. You should get back to this office in case you wish to be clarified on any issue.

Respectfully,

Dr. Alex Ikpeba
Chairman contract/inheritance
Tel: +234 802 481 1998

My Response

Dear Scoot,

I'm writing to you because I got a note from Dr. Alexia Ikyweenie.

This couldn't have come at a better time. I just recently won the lottery here in the states and I happen to have ample funds to resolve this issue. Finally! I was worried that I wouldn't be able to settle this up, but now things are good.

My winning ticket brought me in a whopping $23,000,000! Can you believe it? And to think that just yesterday I was about to declare bankruptcy and put my wife to work whoring. She seems a little disappointed now that plans have changed, but we're financially set! Heck, I may even be able to help your bank buy a mailserver so you don't have to rely on yahoo for email anymore.

...just a sec...phone call coming in.

...it's the tax guy. Don't ya love the tax guys? 

...hmmm

...okay, bad news. Turns out that after taxes, fees, and various other tidbits of coinage removal, I'm only going to receive $53.19. Shit. 

Well, that's life I guess. Wife seems happy again anyway.

Check it out, if that $53.19 minus a pizza and some beer (so about $13.11) is okay, I can send that along. Will that settle things up? Oh, shit, I forgot that I need to snag some condoms to get the wife's business started, and a little change purse (she's planning to only accept nickels), so that leaves about $0.94. Hopefully that'll break us even?

Let me know, Scooterman.

Your pal,

Ivan DeLotto

---